Harper's Bizare.

So I stumbled upon this editorial in Bazaar the other day. Jonah Hill, one of Judd Apatow's comedy darlings, poses with Riley Keough in various LA scenarios. Each photo has a 'text message' for a caption. I thought to myself, "hmm, that's entertaining. A little alienating to most of the magazine's demographic, though." As if on cue, my mom looked over my shoulder and said, "Yeah, I didn't really get what all that was about. What's The Hills?"
Oh boy.
How does one explain the faux-reality monstronsity to the uninitiated? To define The Hills, I feel, would be like admitting that my generation is exactly as disappointing as all the baby boomers want to believe we are.

Now, I don't have any official data on what the average Bazaar reader is like, but I'm going to guess that a good chunk of them are not texting or watching The Hills. Afterall, this is the magazine that dedicates pages each month to skin care and fashion trends for women over 70.

First of all, let's address the text thing. Until about a month ago, my mom didn't even have text messaging. I'm positive she has no idea who Jonah Hill is, so she probably thought it was peculiar that some pudgy guy was throwing up piece signs next to a supermodel and texting about his fabulous California lifestyle. And using "The Hills" as the overarching theme? What a disaster.

Bazaar, second only to Lucky, is my favorite magazine--but this editorial kind of let me down. I get that they wanted to do something youthful and Jonah's last name made this convenient. But couldn't they have emulated Gossip Girl? And please, PLEASE don't tell me this means that one of the show's bimbos is landing a job in the west coast office. Bazaar, you're already late on the reality show marketing thing. (As much as I adore Isaac Mizrahi, The Fashion Show just isn't capturing me the way Project Runway ever could.) Don't dig your grave any deeper. Find another way to salvage the existence of glossy pages.

Jet Setting

I plan on wearing something like this for my flight to London. Comfy leggings, loose knit dress, scarf to double as a pillow. I'll throw on boots and my trench so I don't have to attempt to stuff them in my suitcase.

Pet Peeve: I hate people who wear pajamas in airports. Or Juicy sweatsuits. Seriously? You can do better.

The Notebook

In an effort to cut down on my ever-expanding pile of magazines, I force myself to sift through the stacks a few times a year. Ripping out only what catches my eye right of the bat, I throw away everything else. I paste everything into this old school composition notebook my grandmother gave me and flip through it whenever I need some inspiration.

Here are a few pages:

The Ultimate Sin: Mispronunciation

There's perhaps nothing more embarrassing than striking a conversation with a knowledgeable fashionista and realizing that Hermes is not, in fact, pronounced anything like the STD. Nor is Givenchy pronounced Gah-vin-chee (that's to you, Whitney Port.)

But how is one supposed to keep track of all these foreign names? Fret not, dear readers, for there are plenty of resources to guide your quivering tongues.

• Some kids over at Chictopia put together this cute video that tackles a few names.
• As part of a luxury brand study, students at IMHC (a hotel management school in Canada) recorded short YouTube videos of a person pronouncing each designer.
• Fashionista has done a few posts about pronunciation, where they spell out the names phonetically. They also put together an insanely helpful fashion glossary, that comes complete with phonetic spellings for the tougher names.

If you Google around, you'll find that a lot of variation in the way people pronounce names. So the real trick is to talk confidently and act like you know your stuff. Maybe you'll convince whoever you're talking to that they don't know how to say it right.

Closet Case

I've dreamed of replicating Cher's computerized closet since the first time I watched Clueless. Last summer I even took pictures of pre-assembled outfits (yeah, I know, I'm a freak) for "I have nothing to wear" kind of days.
For anyone who's ever loved picking your outfit the night before, your prayers have been answered. I read about Closet Couture in the May issue of Vogue and immediately created an account. The site allows you to photograph and upload your clothes into a virtual closet. It's similar to Polyvore, in that you drag and drop items and save a look, but it's more streamlined and uses your own photos. You can also buy clothes on the website or pay professional stylists to sort through your uploaded stuff and put together outfits.

Uploading your closet is a bit tedious. To get my wardrobe started, I stuck to photographing everything I'm packing for my upcoming trip to London. (I figured this is the perfect way to take inventory and keep track of what I'm hauling over there.) It was a long process, but really? I'm on summer vacation and don't really have anything better to do. If you're as bored these days as I am, check the site out. Happy matching!