Gimme a moment, will ya?

Thumbs down for crappy race performance.

 You know those phases when everything isn't sucking big time and everything feels really exciting and new and you think to yourself "Rah rah rah! Life is so fun!" because you're curled up on a couch at 6am having some monumental conversation with someone and realizing you're not the only batshit crazy person out there? Or you're driving down the turnpike after a huge storm and the sun comes out and makes the road all glisten-y and you're all like "Wow! Life is so beautiful!"
You know those moments? Those moments that are kind of dumb when you analyze them but are really sweet at the time?

I'll just stop now before you vom over how warm and fuzzy this is.

What I actually wanted to say was, I haven't had those kinds of moments lately. I've been feeling kinda crumby. Remember that race I had to do a couple weeks ago? It was mis-er-able. I have never felt so awful while running EVER in my entire life. Not even that time at field hockey try outs in ninth grade when they told us we had to run a 7:30 mile to make the team and my previous best time was lingering around the 8:20 slow-poke region (so I felt like death and "sprinted" my ass off and ran it in 7:30 and made the team. phew. now excuse me while I ralph my diluted gatorade.)

Anyways, it was a million degrees the night of the race, the course was hilly (well, hilly in comparison to all of the 1% incline treadmill running I'd been doing) and not only did I NOT beat my previous 5k time from before I started my half training, I added about an hour and a half to it. (Exaggeration, but might as well be.) Oh oh, and I had stayed home sick from work the two days before because I legit felt like I had lymes disease (I don't) or something -- achy and more exhausted than I've ever been.

So the odds were against me and yadda yadda yadda but I finished and was really freaking bummed that I didn't run better. I pouted for awhile and drank 3 bottles of water and ate some pineapple and grimaced at all the medalers who finished the race in under 16 minutes. (WTF didn't anyone tell you crazy people it's 92 degrees outside with 50% humidity??) I was down. But then I got a sudden wave of relief because I realized that this race didn't really matter and thank God I messed up this one and not the big race. I know my eats were HORRIBLE the days before and I hadn't been training outside at ALL, so I immediately resolved to start working harder. Well actually I had another week of craptastic runs and eating habits and THEN I started being better. And I've made the following adjustments:
-Don't eat lots of crappy foods. They make running completely miserable.
-Go back to rotating my running surface: road/treadmill/trail/track
-Stop getting hung up on pace and run times. It puts me in a bad mood and when I'm in a bad mood I run even worse and then I get angry for running slow and get in an even worse mood and then I run slower and (do you see the vicious cycle?)

And do you know what? Earlier this morning after I finished my four mile easy run, I was walking down the street to my house and the sun was filtering through the leaves and the sky was really blue and I thought to myself, "Wow! Life is so beautiful!"

Thumbs up for a Mr. Rogers-style beautiful day in the neighborhood.