Confidence Builders

“Just wait until you’re in your 20s,” my mother told me when I was in high school, sobbing on the couch because, I don’t know, I ran out of cell phone minutes. “Life is great when you’re older – you’re more comfortable with who you are.” It doesn’t take much to be more confident now than I was at age 16 – for one thing, my hair is no longer a mousy, dirty blonde and I’ve since invested in a teasing comb and hairspray – but I’m not yet convinced this is the age when I reach the pinnacle of self-esteem.

While I’m certainly having plenty of fun in my 20s (God bless an age where it’s acceptable to go to sleep – not wake up – at 6 a.m.) I’d argue that it’s quite possibly one of the most insecure times of my life. I’m forever in the midst of a vicious cycle of uncertainty. Just when I think I’m pretty great, I question what my strengths and weaknesses are and wonder What the hell am I supposed to be doing with my life? Trying to find a job is kind of like waiting for some guy to call. Except when an employer doesn’t call, it’s worse. Because, you know, there’s money involved. And I kind of have this BCBG skirt that I need to be able to afford some time in the near future because it’s really bangin’.

Anyways, despite my plaguing insecurity, there are a few things I can wear no matter what and feel infinitely more confident. They are as follows:

-American Apparel pencil skirts: Instantly slimming, super comfortable, wearable in a million different ways. I literally wear one of these almost every single day. Paired with a racerback tank top, just about the only thing I wear at night in the summer.

-Aviator sunglasses: I stick with oversized, men’s iterations of the classic shades and love the way they add a splash of gleam to any otherwise-matte-daytime ensemble.

-Blazers: Probably my favorite article of clothing of all time, I collect them in all cuts and colors. It’s nice that they’re trendy right now so I can stock up for pretty reasonable prices.

-Chain necklaces: I never feel comfortable in anything too overtly feminine, so I throw them on over everything for a dose of edge.

Hello, dream fall purse

I've never been much of a fan of Target's collaboration lines, but the accessories collections are usually pretty decent -- probably because you don't have to worry about whether or not a bracelet is going to be cheaply cut and unflattering. I always loved all the Subversive jewelry and I picked up a Hayden - Harnett purse last year that I still get loads of compliments on.

Now, according to The Cut, Target is teaming up with Mulberry for a fall collection that releases in October. The way some people our obsessive over Coach bags or save pennies their whole life for a Louis Vuitton purse, I am crazy for Mulberry. I've forever wanted one of their leather bags but without a steady source of income, it's going to be awhile before I'm slinging one of those over my shoulder.

In the mean time, I'm crossing my fingers that Mulberry creates some stellar stuff for Target because that I can afford.

Lady Gaga and I are back in the game.

1. After an extensive post-college graduation hiatus, I've decided to shake off the dust and return to the blogosphere. Apologies to my legions of fans (that means you, Mom) for keeping you waiting.

2. Did you know that Lady Gaga was on an episode of MTV's Boiling Points back in the day? She was a brunette and, unsurprisingly, had a bit of a temper. See for yourself.

3. Alejandro is out. Check out those boys' high waisted boxer briefs. So in right now.

Parting sartorial advice, and no sweatpants ever

When my mother dropped me off for my freshman year of college, she gave me a hug on Bigelow Boulevard and whispered in my ear, “If you become one of those kids who wears sweatpants all the time, I won’t let you come home.”

The four years since my mother’s stern advice have flown by faster than Heidi Montag’s disastrous plastic surgery transformation, but I can confidently say I’ve learned a lot during my stay at Pitt. So I present to you, for my final column, a list of lessons. Some of these things I’ve said before — others I’ve just realized recently. They are all of equal importance. (Except, perhaps, the bit about skirt lengths. That you can feel free to ignore.)

Generally speaking, when people offer advice, I assume they’re not talking to me. The bits and pieces I do absorb, I struggle to keep at the forefront of my mental repertoire and only consider from time to time.

So I offer you this advice, knowing quite well that you might not listen to it all. “Sam is talking to someone else,” you’re thinking. And that’s OK. Head for the Sudoku. If you’re willing to put off studying for finals a little longer, though, here is what I’ve learned and what I’d advise:

1. Always thank the people who matter. To my roommates who have patiently waited for me to pick out an outfit all these years, thank you. To the professors who didn’t say anything when I slipped in to class late because I couldn’t decide on said outfit, thank you. To H&M, which has provided me with an endless stream of closet additions, I thank you most of all.

2. College is a time of consumption. You eat when you’re bored, spend money when you’re stressed, drink when you’re celebrating (even if you’re just celebrating the fact that you made it to Thursday). I’m not going to tell you to stop drinking — I’m no hypocrite — but I will tell you to watch your spending. Buy what you can’t live without. It’s possible to have a closet of things that are absolutely extraordinary if you don’t waste money on things that are positively dreadful.

3. Don’t overwork yourself. Sometimes it’s better to let yourself relax before you dive into an important assignment. Fact: Facebook stalking is a perfectly acceptable form of procrastination when it is used to look through the pictures of friends who dress well. There’s a whole world of outfit ideas to absorb by clicking though recently added photos.

4. I should say that my biggest accomplishment of college was learning the appropriate usage of the em-dash and to differentiate between its and it’s. In actuality, my biggest accomplishment was learning to apply eyeliner on the inside of my eyelids. It’ll make your Friday nights so much better, I swear.

5. Laugh at your own mistakes, but really, try to look your best at all times — you never know when you’ll be on camera. There was this time I accidentally thought it would be a good idea to film a Dating on Demand profile (curse you, persuasive Comcast recruiters!) on a night I hadn’t washed my hair. Embarrassing doesn’t even begin to describe.

6. When buying a new dress, always double check the length. I have had some near-disasters with night wear that could have easily been avoided if I had bothered to walk out of the dressing room and look in a three-way mirror. On the other hand, if any of you ladies enjoy walking down Oakland Avenue as the object of loose-moral mishaps, then don’t double check at all. The shorter, the better.

7. I recently borrowed (OK, basically stole from the trunk of my friend Alex’s car) a collection of New Yorker writer Malcolm Gladwell’s essays. In the preface, he says the best people to interview for a story are the ones who don’t have a reputation to protect. “Self-consciousness,” he says, “is the enemy of ‘interestingness.’” It is true — both in story telling and fashion. Think about it: The people who have the most compelling style are the ones who aren’t worried about protecting their image or conforming to a certain socially acceptable “look.”

I spent a whole lot of my undergraduate career being self-conscious — worrying that I wasn’t smart enough, talented enough, well-dressed enough — and you know what? It all really doesn’t matter. The second you stop worrying, good things start happening. I promise, you’re interesting just the way you are.

I think I’ve enjoyed college more than should be legally allowed, so it’s terrifying that it all will end in less than a week.

I’ve met some remarkably talented people who I’m privileged to call my friends, and I became, roughly, the person I always wanted to be.

The next wave of my life is still up in the air but there is one thing I know for sure: It is very possible to get ahead by working hard, but it is so much easier when you’re dressed the part.

To my fellow breed of anti-pajamas-in-public types, I raise a pumped fist and say, “Solidarity.” To the rest of you, remember: Sweatpants are never the answer.

I get you.

Before I begin, please don’t laugh at me.

I’ve harbored this weird obsession with fake glasses for the past year. I know they go against my anti-hipster bent, but what can I say? I want in on the cult.

It all began in London. While studying abroad, I spent nearly every Friday morning perusing Portobello Market — a huge outdoor cluster of street vendors in Notting Hill. At the market, there was a sunglass stand owned by this hilarious vendor who always wore giant plastic clown glasses. He’d help everyone figure out exactly which pair they should buy — throwing frames around the tent and giving customers a thumbs up or a thumbs down.

Once, I put on a pair of square fake glasses and peered into one of the stand’s tiny mirrors. I loved them, and I waved down the owner for a second opinion.

“No, no,” he said. “You look too serious in those. You look like my doctor.”

“Oh,” I said. Reluctantly, I put them down, bought a pair of huge tortoiseshell sunglasses and tried to forget about my craving for fake specs.

I had all but given up on my dream of looking like a bookish young coed until a few weeks ago, when I borrowed my friend Justin’s pair of plastic glasses for a day.

Immediately, I became re-infatuated and went out to buy a pair for myself. But thus far, they’ve been sitting on top of my dresser with the price tag still attached ($6 at Forever 21, if anyone’s interested). I’m chickening out — I’m too afraid of people making fun of me when I wear them.

Fashion, after all, is the most basic form of nonverbal communication — without a word, your dress can convey your personality. So what would fake glasses say about me? Either that I’m an extroverted attention craver or quiet and reclusive. You take your pick.

And it’s not just glasses. A few weeks ago, New York Magazine’s fashion blog, The Cut, posted an entry about the slowly evolving sweatpants trend.

But before any of you late sleepers get too excited, these aren’t the kind of sweatpants with “PITT” screen-printed down the leg. These are made of cashmere or high quality jersey and cut to look like much trendier pants.

The Cut’s article detailed how the trend started (with designers Alexander Wang and Isabel Marant) before explaining its paradox: To the untrained eye, they look sloppy and ridiculous, but to those in the fashion know, they look ahead of the curve. For all we know, everyone will be wearing harem sweatpants two years from now.

Despite my constant outcries against dressing like a slob, I actually kind of like the new iteration of sweatpants. But here’s the thing: Even if I did muster the courage to buy a pair, I’d be worried about how other people would perceive them — always fearing someone would cast me one glance and say, “Oh look, you’re a slob too.”

That’s the thing about fashion: For every person who praises your bravery to rock something different, there’s going to be someone who laughs hysterically at you the second you walk by. It’s up to you to decide who’s worth listening to.

As for me, I’m still trying to put on my brave face and wear my fake glasses in public. If and when I do muster enough confidence to head outdoors, please, I beg of you, be kind.